Days 10, 11, 12

Day 10: If you have Rainbow(s) or other children, do they know and remember your angel(s)?

I really want Brycson and any future children to think of Makayla as their sister and know how important she still is to our family even though she's not here. She is not an avoided subject in our home. She comes up in conversations frequently. We visit her gravesite often, and Brycson quickly catches on to the route we are taking when we head to the cemetery, followed by " We're going to see baby Makayla aren't we?" Brycson and I just barely decorated her headstone for Halloween. He gets really excited about that kind of stuff. I think it helps him feel a little more involved. We will help our children know and remember Makayla by including her in as many of our normal family activities and traditions as we can.

Day 11: It is said that Father's and Mother's grieve differently. Do you feel this is true with your angel's Father?

Camron and I have definitely handled this in two entirely different ways. I think Camron got most of his crying and grieving out at the hospital and the week leading up to her funeral. It really hadn't hit me until after her funeral, and I have done A LOT of crying since. People will ask me all the time how Camron is holding up. I honestly can't answer them because he doesn't talk about it much. I have seen him cry once in the last four months. He got teary eyed during testimony meeting one Sunday, while an angel grandma, who lost her granddaughter a few days before we lost Makayla, bore her testimony. He has taught a couple of "rough" lessons in Sunday School. He tells me he cries during those lessons. As far as details about those times I don't really ask questions. I just let him tell me what he feels comfortable sharing. Even when I ask him how he's doing it's very simple and to the point. "It is what it is, and it sucks."

Day 12: How has the rest of your family dealt with your loss?

Both sides of our family have been super supportive. We had so many members of our family come and support us at her funeral. As far as dealing with it emotionally, I really don't know how they have handled that, we don't talk about that part much. Both grandma's have included Makayla's birthstones in with their other grandkids'. Both families proudly display her pictures along with all the other grandkids'. She has her own magnet on the prayer chart at Grandma Kriste's (Brycson really pushed for that one!) Comments made by nieces on both sides let me know that she is talked about openly in their homes as well. They really go out of their way to continue to include Makayla as much as possible. As per tradition in our family each girl receives a necklace and ring for their blessing day. Makayla was buried with my jewelry from when I was blessed. My mom kept offering to buy her something new and I said I was fine with her using mine. My mom didn't want me to feel "jipped" 'cause my nieces got new jewelry and Makayla got mine. So the weekend we would have blessed Makayla she gave me a box with a brand new necklace and ring. I could tell it was something she really felt the need to do. Even though Makayla isn't here she wanted to do that for her. It meant so much to me that she still thinks of Makayla that way.